NaPoWriMo 04 April 2012 – I think I lasted four days.

This will be my last.
I hate ‘having to’
That I must push.
It strips all creatively
from my bones.
When I ‘have to.’
I do what I do,
without reason.
Dig my heels into the sand
when things dictate.
I put my camera down.
I put my head to rest.
I don’t want you like me
because I like you.
I don’t want to be challenged
at all.
I like being little.
Unobserved but by those who
I observe.
I liked it how it was.
When I just did it for me.
And when I just liked
what you did.
This is all is big enough for me. 
Why should it ever have to be
more complicated than that?



10 thoughts on “NaPoWriMo 04 April 2012 – I think I lasted four days.

  1. What a lovely, ferocious and very independent way to resign (you are resigning aren’t you?).
    Well written and I understand completely.
    Best wishes for your own work – you have a good blog going here.
    Perhaps you need to know that I was directed her by another blogger (wisejourney) and I’m glad she made the recommendation; I will be back.

    • Thank you very much. Yes I am resigning. I keep trying these things and realise they really are not for me. I can’t switch it on like that. I prefer to do photography and write as something comes to me. Not because I have to, it took the enjoyment out of it for me. The good thing is that I now know how I work. Thank you for stopping by, I look forward to seeing your blog. 🙂

  2. Years ago I was commissioned by an American magazine to produce some artwork for them. And you get a lot of money from American stuf – four hundred quid plus for an hour or so’s work. The pressure, however, was enormous. I didn’t enjoy it at all. In the end I refused any more commissions on the basis that if I wanted to earn money from a job that I didn’t actually enjoy then I’d be better off becoming a vet or something. The artwork suffered for it, in my opinion. I suspect nobody else could tell the difference, but I could. I don’t work well under pressure. True art, of any sort, should come from the soul and nowhere else.

    Now I’m off to photograph one of my cats taking a dump for Facebook.

    • You know what Brian. I get that completely. That said it all. I have not been commissioned for anything nor never will. And I would never want to be. This is never about anything but what I want to do when I want to do it. Anything else just strips the beauty out of it. Cannot wait for the cat dump…not. Also. Thank you x

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