NaPoWriMo 04 April 2012 – I think I lasted four days.

This will be my last.
I hate ‘having to’
That I must push.
Procreate.
No.
It strips all creatively
from my bones.
When I ‘have to.’
I do what I do,
without reason.
Dig my heels into the sand
when things dictate.
I put my camera down.
I put my head to rest.
I don’t want you like me
because I like you.
I don’t want to be challenged
at all.
I like being little.
Unobserved but by those who
I observe.
I liked it how it was.
When I just did it for me.
And when I just liked
what you did.
This is all is big enough for me. 
Why should it ever have to be
more complicated than that?

 

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10 thoughts on “NaPoWriMo 04 April 2012 – I think I lasted four days.

  1. What a lovely, ferocious and very independent way to resign (you are resigning aren’t you?).
    Well written and I understand completely.
    Best wishes for your own work – you have a good blog going here.
    Perhaps you need to know that I was directed her by another blogger (wisejourney) and I’m glad she made the recommendation; I will be back.

    • Thank you very much. Yes I am resigning. I keep trying these things and realise they really are not for me. I can’t switch it on like that. I prefer to do photography and write as something comes to me. Not because I have to, it took the enjoyment out of it for me. The good thing is that I now know how I work. Thank you for stopping by, I look forward to seeing your blog. 🙂

  2. Years ago I was commissioned by an American magazine to produce some artwork for them. And you get a lot of money from American stuf – four hundred quid plus for an hour or so’s work. The pressure, however, was enormous. I didn’t enjoy it at all. In the end I refused any more commissions on the basis that if I wanted to earn money from a job that I didn’t actually enjoy then I’d be better off becoming a vet or something. The artwork suffered for it, in my opinion. I suspect nobody else could tell the difference, but I could. I don’t work well under pressure. True art, of any sort, should come from the soul and nowhere else.

    Now I’m off to photograph one of my cats taking a dump for Facebook.

    • You know what Brian. I get that completely. That said it all. I have not been commissioned for anything nor never will. And I would never want to be. This is never about anything but what I want to do when I want to do it. Anything else just strips the beauty out of it. Cannot wait for the cat dump…not. Also. Thank you x

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