My dog’s a kleptomaniac
When we are sleeping like the dead
He wanders round collecting things
and puts them in his bed.
Wooly hats and teddy bears
are among his favorite things
Bumper bags of crisps and combs
are other bits he brings
He stole a roll of bin bags
and likes a smelly sock or two
He just likes to nick them
he doesn’t want to chew.
Paper, that is different though
that’s the thing he loves the most
He rips that to smithereens
So I never get my post.
The rest he fills his bed up with
Until no space is free.
And when his work is done
He sneaks up on my bed with me.